Stands for: What Would Keith Richards Do?
As reported by Papercuts, this is the title of a new book. (Subtitle: Daily Affirmations from a Rock ‘n’ Roll Survivor.)
Here are some sweet Keithisms:
“Mine is a very nebulous spirituality.”
“Cheese is very wrong.”
“I’ve never turned blue in someone else’s bathroom. I consider that the height of bad manners.”
Keef, man.
This one, his fourth, is called Sag Harbor.
Based on the reviews and the excerpt that ran in The New Yorker a while back, it’s something of a departure: autobiographical, first-person narrator, coming-of-age story taking place during one summer, etc.
He’s one of those writers who I’ll follow anywhere and read anything he publishes.
The first book review I ever wrote for The San Francisco Chronicle was for Whitehead’s first novel, The Intuitionist. (Read that review here. It also contains my favorite opening line for one of my reviews: “There’s little literary precedent for the elevator novel.”)
And I was even more impressed by his second novel, John Henry Days. So impressed that I started writing like him, or rather trying to write like him, because of course I can’t; he’s way better, way smarter, way funnier.
We do, however, have one thing in common: We both used to work for CNET.
Anyway. Some Colson Whitehead goodness for your perusal…
Lots of debate about the merits, inadequacies, limitations, etc., of the 50-year-old writing and style guide.
People get very passionate about this stuff.
(The following is something I wrote in late February… forgot to post it.)
“I’m just trying to think but my brain can’t think anymore.”
That’s what Ethan said to me this morning, and that’s how I usually feel at the end of the day.
But it’s especially relevant after having gone through a week-long ordeal to get my NEA creative writing fellowship application submitted. Doesn’t sound like a big deal, right?
All told, it took about a dozen support phone calls, multiple go-nowhere emails, and hours of my own troubleshooting, guessing, second- and third-guessing, installing, reinstalling, creating new accounts and new passwords, etc.
Why? The whole online application submission system… sucks. In fact, it seems to be designed to prevent people from actually submitting applications and getting the fellowships and the money. (Conspiracy theorists take note.)
The NEA uses grants.gov to handle the application process. It’s all done online, and that’s fine — I know my way around a computer.
But the system is so unreliable (log in issues, password reset issues, load issues, you name it), the support so scattered, confusing, and incomplete, that it’s a wonder my application (again, after a week of trying) somehow made it through. And when it finally happened it was random. Nothing got “fixed.” I just happened to be able to log in after scores of unsuccesful attempts and submit my application.
There are lots of blog comments about how crappy the system is. “This system is dysfunctional” was one of my favorites. Also this: “I have never done such a difficult and traumatic application.” Yes, that’s how it felt: traumatic.
Every time I called I was told “The system is slow” or “The system is having widespread issues.”
One of the support people (probably the eighth person I spoke to) was practically yelling at me. I tried to provide some background on what had happened so far (I won’t go into the numbing details), but she wasn’t having it: “I don’t need to know that! I need to know your situation right now! I don’t care what’s happened before! What is your problem right now?!!”
“My problem,” I gently tried to explain, “is that I don’t know what my problem is. That’s why I’m trying to provide some background and explain it to you. There have so many things that have gone wrong, I have had research requests instated and then canceled without being notified. I don’t know where to begin. Could I get your name again please?”
This was the same person who, when recommending that I clear my cache, pronounced cache as “kaa-shay.” And I think she called Firefox “Firebear”: “Don’t use Firebear or whatever. We don’t support that. Use Explorer. Delete your cookies. Clear your kaa-shay. Don’t use the Googles or Yahoo. None of that.” Didn’t give me much confidence in her “tech” knowledge.
Anyway, it’s done. Getting an NEA fellowship is an extremely long shot and would be a dream. But man, I’m still feeling depleted.
</rant>
This morning I was sitting on the living room floor surrounded by sunlight and baby toys and, well, babies.
Two babies. Crawling over me and laughing and giggling. Twins. Who recently turned one.
After a year, I still can’t believe it. We have twins.
Often I shake my head, as I did this morning, and think: “Twins, man, twins!”
(And I don’t often use exclamation points.)
Most of the parent stuff I write about on this blog has to do with my older son, Ethan, who’ll be turning four in a few weeks. (This fact also blows my already blown mind.)
But Henry and Celia… they are amazing. They remind me of joy and discovery and simplicity and beauty.
When they smile and laugh, I think we’ll survive the craziness. That one day we’ll sleep. That one day I can do something crazy like sit down and eat an entire meal at once or (dreaming big now) watch an entire movie or basketball game.
Twins, man…
Mr. Henry:
Ms. Celia:
