Beware the Toucan

Posted on April 25, 2009 by Andrew Roe
Ethan: “If you run into a toucan, he will bite you.”

Me: “What if I walk into him?”

Ethan: “No. Only if you run into him. Then he will bite you.”

I did not know this.

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Talk Like Shakespeare Day

Posted on April 23, 2009 by Andrew Roe

It’s today.

To practice, check out the Shakespearean Insulter.

Example insult:

“Thou bawdy fool-born clotpole!”

Methinks if there be a Talk Like a Pirate Day, then why hath there not been a Talk Like Shakespeare Day?

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Half a Century of ‘The Elements of Style’

Posted on April 22, 2009 by Andrew Roe

The famous style guide turns 50, as reported by the New York Times.

I liked this bit:

“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers,” Dorothy Parker once wrote, “the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them copies of ‘The Elements of Style.’ The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.”

In the photo, you can see the copy I keep in my office. Yes, those are my fingers. No, I am not a giant. The book is very small.

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Kid Quotes of the Day

Posted on April 22, 2009 by Andrew Roe

Henry: “Da-da.”

Ethan: “I love melon so badly!”

Celia: “Buh-bye.”

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Not Ron Burgundy But…

Posted on April 20, 2009 by Andrew Roe

My very short story “My Anchorman” is now up over at Monkeybicycle.

There’s no jazz flute, no Planet of the Apes references, no scotch-scotch-scotch-I-love-scotch dialogue. But there is a stalker.

I also have a story in the current issue of Slice Magazine (see previous post) that’s called “My Status.” I think this consists of my entire oeuvre of stories with “My _______” in the title.

Stay classy, San Diego.

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